The Graceful Skinny

A homeschool mom of one sharing my thoughts, curriculum reviews, organization techniques, and planning ideas with others in the homeschool community.

Weekly Update: Better Late Than Never April 25, 2011

My wonderful readers, I am so very sorry for my inconsistent posting this past month. April has been a bit rough health wise and it has caused me to slack in other areas. I stared this blog as a way to be an encouragement to others and try to do my best to keep a positive outlook in my posts. However, this once I must ask your forgiveness if I come across as a bit negative and whiny, because today I just need a bit of time to vent.

I am tired of being tired. I am tired of medical issues and weight issues and fertility issues and pills and hormones. My issues with asthma and the steroids at the beginning of the month started a bit of a chain reaction.  Aunt Flo went weird (yet again). Provera was needed. And now I am left with 7ish pounds of weight that I am going to have to re-loose!

Though as run down as I am, if I stop for a minute and listen it becomes obvious that God is trying to teach me something through all of this.  And while this is something that I have known for years being able to step back and take peace in this knowledge is not all that easy.

It’s at times like these where I feel so run down and frustrated and find myself screaming out to God, “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” It’s at these moments when I finally stop and really listen that I hear God gently whispering back to his reminder that I never could do it, nor was I ever supposed to, and as crappy as all this is to deal with, there is something unbelievably freeing at this reminder.

God is there watching over us and taking control over everything.  When I stop and think about how easy it is to slip into the grind of the daily life and trudge through it all, it is these moments that cause us to break that really bring us closer to God.  And as crappy as they might be to get through, as much as I would LOVE to push the fast forward button on life just to skip all of this, I wouldn’t trade a single piece of it because God has truly used it all to bring us closer to him.

So while I may have my moments of acting like an exhausted two year old, in the end its all good because God is in control and for that I am ever grateful!